All the Bright Places

”I know life well enough to know you can’t count on things staying around or standing still, no matter how much you want them to. You can’t stop people from dying. You can’t stop them from going away. You can’t stop yourself from going away either. I know myself well enough to know that no one else can keep you awake or keep you from sleeping.”

I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to write a review about this book.
It made me so damn sad that I feel whatever I say, it just won’t be enough.
It will never do my feelings justice.

The sadness I’m feeling is impossible to put into words.
It’s the kind of sadness that festers in your heart.
The sort of sadness that makes you ache all over and draws the air from your lungs.

Maybe it’s because this book hit way too close to home.
Maybe it’s because I know exactly how Violet felt.
Maybe it’s because in some way Theo reminded me so much of myself.

”The wall has various names: Wall of Thoughts, Wall of Ideas, Wall of My Mind, or just The Wall, not to be confused with Pink Floyd. The wall is a place to keep track of thoughts, as fast as they come, and remember them when they go away. Anything interesting or weird or even halfway inspired goes up there.”

His actions, the fact that he embraced life more than everyone else around him!
That he saw the beautiful things in our grey world and vehemently refused to succumb to the ugly things that sometimes make it so hard to live.
Finch fought for every single moment and to watch his constant fight thoroughly broke my heart.

”I’m fighting to be here in this shitty, messed-up world. Standing on the ledge of the bell tower isn’t about dying. It’s about having control. It’s about never going to sleep again.”

It wasn’t the plot or the subjects that moved me.
It were the intense feelings this book gave me.
The mood it put me in, the trip down my own memory lane…

There are books that make you think,
There are books that make you feel,
But it’s so very rare to experience both.
To think and feel and hurt with every fibre of your heart.

I am not perfect. I have secrets. I am messy. Not just my bedroom but me. No one likes messy. They like smiling Violet.”

It’s exactly what “All the Bright Places” did to me.
I thought about it even when the book was closed,
I hurt reading some scenes even though there seemed to be nothing that would qualify such a reaction.
There were tears in my eyes when I read certain parts and I can’t even tell you why!!!

”I walk into my closet and shut the door. Inside, I try not to take up too much space or make any noise, because if I do, I may wake up the darkness, and I want the darkness to sleep. I’m careful when I breathe so as not to breathe too loudly. If I breathe too loudly, there’s no telling what the darkness will do to me or to Violet or to anyone I love.”

All I can tell you is that I ache…
I hurt…
I’m a mess after finishing this book.

I didn’t ugly cry when I read the last page.
I didn’t sob my soul out.
I didn’t weep like a little child.

I hurt…
I suffer…
I feel like a part of what makes me “me” was ripped out of me.
Exposed to the eyes of the world.

”Be the person I’m meant to be and have that be enough.”

This book is so beautiful,
and at times even funny and deep.

”Keep going. Don’t stop now. Don’t be a waiting person. You lived. You survived a really horrible accident. But you’re just … there. You’re just existing like everyone else. Get up. Do this. Do that. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Over and over so that you don’t have to think about it.”

It’s an ode to life and yet it left me utterly exhausted and somehow broken.

Should you read it?
Absolutely! Yes!!

But be careful,
it might easily crush your heart.

That’s not only a fair warning.
It’s the bitter truth.

And now excuse me while I finally yield to my sadness and actually cry. T_T

”I learned that there is good in this world, if you look hard enough for it. I learned that not everyone is disappointing, including me, and that a 1,257-foot bump in the ground can feel higher than a bell tower if you’re standing next to the right person.”


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